I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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