Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Randomize
