I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
