he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
