As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
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