Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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