You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
