weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Randomize
