I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
