I could have mohawked her pubes.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Randomize