You made me cry and you don't even care
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
You have to summon your inner elephant
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Randomize