Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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