Don't you send me to vm
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
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