just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
