I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
