Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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