reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
