The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Randomize
