Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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