Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize
