Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
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