I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
OPIZZABONMYDICK
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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