I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Randomize
