Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Damn victory sex feels great
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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