OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
