She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
is wine microwaveable?
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
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