the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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