I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize