Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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