Is it normal to miss your booty call?
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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