For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
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