The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
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