We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
