Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize