Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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