That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
