so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Life is so much better after having sex.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
