Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Randomize