Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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