it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Randomize