Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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