So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
