More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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