he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Bang-toberfest begins!!
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
