I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
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