That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
i think i have two assholes
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Randomize
