I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Randomize
