just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
you will always have a special place in my vag
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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