obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
