You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Randomize