It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
im holly from the hills drunk
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
