remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
The air taste purple.
Randomize
