Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
