Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize