I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
