dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I pour the whiskey from now on
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Randomize
