I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Randomize