i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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