I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Randomize