im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
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