I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Randomize
