Well apparently he's into motor boating.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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